


Alter Ego

by Xochiquetzl



Category: Northern Exposure
Genre: Doppelganger, Gen, Yuletide, challenge:Yuletide 2007, recipient:Elke Tanzer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-25
Updated: 2007-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-05 12:33:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xochiquetzl/pseuds/Xochiquetzl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ed woke up that morning, he realized he wasn't alone in bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alter Ego

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elke Tanzer (elke_tanzer)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elke_tanzer/gifts).



When Ed woke up that morning, he realized he wasn't alone in bed.

That was odd enough in itself, but when he rolled over to see who was there, it was a guy. A naked guy. He couldn't remember ever, you know, with a guy before, so that was really weird. He figured he'd remember something like that. Then the guy rolled over. He was also Ed.

The other Ed blinked at him. "Huh," he said.

"Yeah."

The two Eds looked at each other for a moment.

"We should ask Leonard if he's ever seen anything like this," Ed said.

"Yeah." The other Ed scratched his head. "This reminds me of that movie by Kiyoshi Kurosawa. And the one where Drew Barrymore and Drew Barrymore are both having an affair with the same guy."

"In some cultures, seeing a double of yourself is considered an omen of death." Ed scratched his head. "I don't know if the legends say anything about waking up naked in bed with yourself."

"I think I saw a porno like that once," the other Ed said.

"Yeah," Ed said. "On Maurice's satellite dish."

"Oh, yeah." The other Ed grinned at him, and Ed found himself grinning back. The two Eds looked at each other for a moment, and then they got dressed.

#

People were staring at them as they walked down the street together. Ed supposed that it wasn't every day you saw two identical people walking down the street together, unless you were watching one of those Doublemint gum commercials with the twins or something. Mrs. Quinhagak had said that Leonard was at the Brick, so that's where they were headed.

When they walked into the Brick, everyone got really quiet. "Wow," the other Ed said. "This is kind of like one of those Westerns when the bad guy walks into the bar."

Ed spotted Leonard over on a stool at the counter eating eggs and bacon, so he walked over and sat on one side. The other Ed sat on the other. A couple of people gathered around to watch. Shelly almost spilled the coffee she was pouring into Leonard's cup.

"I see," Leonard said.

"Really?" Ed said. "What does it mean?"

"Maybe you should tell me," Leonard said.

The crowd around them was getting bigger. Holling went behind the counter and stood next to Shelly. He scratched his head.

"In the movies, it's usually a horror movie where the person's double is going to steal their life," the other Ed said. "Or commit some kind of crime that the person is going to get blamed for."

"Interesting," Leonard said. He turned to Ed. "What do you think it is?"

"Well, in some traditions it's an omen of death to see a double of yourself. I don't think he's a doppleganger, though. He casts a shadow, and has a reflection. I checked on the way here."

"You did?" the other Ed said.

"Yup."

"How do we know you're not the doppleganger?"

"I cast a shadow, too," Ed said, and held out his arm to demonstrate.

"Cool." The two Eds grinned at each other.

"Hmm," Leonard said. "How do you feel?"

"Fine," Ed said.

"Me, too," the other Ed said.

"You're not freaked out at all to see a double of yourself?"

The two Eds shook their heads.

"How did you feel yesterday?"

"I was kind of stressed out," Ed said. "Not, you know, freaking out or anything. Just..."

"Yeah," the other Ed said. "I get busy sometimes, you know? But it's cool."

"Hmm." Leonard's brow furrowed. Ed figured he had a theory he wasn't sharing. Maybe he wanted Ed to figure it out on his own.

Someone pushed their way to the front of the crowd. "Excuse me! Coming through!"

"Hey, Ruth-Ann," the Eds said.

"My goodness," Ruth-Ann said. "I was going to ask why you were late coming in to work, but it looks to me like you need a day off."

"Can you go into work?" the other Ed said. "I've been wanting to work on my script."

Ed shook his head. "I was going to gather some herbs today."

"You were not," the other Ed said. "We were scheduled to work."

"It's all right," Ruth-Ann said. "You can take the day off. Both of you."

"Thanks, Ruth-Ann," the Eds said, smiling brightly.

#

Ed went out to gather herbs, while Ed went home to work on his script. Unfortunately, when Ed got home he discovered that he had company.

His refrigerator door was open, food was strewn all over the floor, and someone had jammed a ham sandwich into the CD-ROM drive of the nice computer Maurice gave him when he bought himself a new one. Over by the refrigerator, a small Green Man belched and threw a half-full can of coke on the floor.

"What did you do?" Ed shouted.

"It looked hungry," the Green Man said. He shrugged and opened up another of Ed's cokes.

Ed unplugged the machine and started scraping sandwich out of the drive. He sighed.

"Ed, Ed! Who are you kidding?" the Green Man said. "You don't know anything about computers. You're just going to make things worse. You should ask Maurice to help you."

"Oh, well, look who's talking! the demon who thinks computers look hungry!"

The Green Man's eyes sparkled. "You used to be such a nice boy, and now look at you. Talking trash to spirits. I was just doing you a favor!"

"Feeding my hungry machine?"

The Green Man sighed and shook his head. His hair gave off some green sparks. "I didn't want to tell you this, but I did it so you wouldn't embarass yourself with your script." He walked over, shaking his head. "Don't be mad at me, but I took the liberty of reading it, and pee-yew."

"Shut up!"

"I'm really sorry I had to do that, Ed," the Green Man said. "It's for your own good."

Ed stared at the computer and sighed.

"You'll thank me later, Ed. Trust me." He walked over to the door, leaving a trail of mustard and coke footprints on the floor.

#

Ed picked an herb and looked at it.

"Are you sure that's the right one?" a voice behind him asked.

Ed turned around, and saw the Green Man. "Oh, it's you."

"'Oh, it's you,'" the Green Man mimicked. "Some manners. I'm just trying to do you a favor. I mean, if you give someone the wrong herb you could kill them, and then you'd go to prison, and I don't think you'd like prison." Sparks flew out of the Green Man's eyes. "You've seen the movies, right?"

Ed sighed. "Go away."

"Ed, I'm telling you this as a friend, okay? You just don't have what it takes to be a shaman. I mean, really, don't you think you're being a little presumptuous to even consider it?" He shook his head. "You should go sweep up for Ruth-Ann. At least she likes you, most of the time."

Ed turned and walked away.

"Where are you going? Back to work?"

"I'm going to talk to Leonard," Ed said. "I bet you have something to do with the two Eds thing."

"Ed, Ed! Why would I do something like that? Two of you? Don't you think one of you is bad enough?"

Ed gave the Green Man a dirty look.

The Green Man gave off sparks. "Don't get me wrong, Ed, I really like you. Not like everyone else."

Ed sighed and trudged off towards Leonard's.

"You shouldn't bother Leonard," the Green Man said. "He has more important things to do than talk to you."

Ed put his hands over his ears. "La la la la I'm not listening!"

The Green Man rushed forward, knocking Ed over. Ed tried to wrestle with him, but he was just too strong. He finally found himself lying on the ground with the Green Man sitting on his chest. "Trust me, Ed. It's a terrible idea. Terrible. You should just go home."

Ed closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and then wiggled out from under the demon. He stuck his fingers in his ears and started humming "Jungle Boogie" really loudly. He marched off to Leonard's, stomping in time with his humming.

#

He was muddy when he got to Leonard's--he'd fallen more than once when the Green Man tripped him. Leonard gave him a long, appraising look and said nothing.

"It's my personal demon," Ed said. "He did this."

Leonard nodded. "Why?"

"I don't know!" Ed said.

"Think about it," Leonard said. "What does he want?"

Ed bit his lip. "I don't think I can do this. Maybe he's right. Maybe it's presumptuous of me to even try."

"Would you say that if you were whole?" Leonard asked.

Ed was so surprised he had to sit on the ground.

Leonard sat next to him. "Talk to your other self. You're going to have to fight him together. The two halves of yourself, your two callings, you need each other to fight him. You need to work as one. You need to love each other."

"Will you come with me?" Ed asked.

"Only as far as the house," Leonard said. "You're the only one who can fight your demon."

"I can't fight him," Ed said. "He's too strong."

"No," Leonard said. "Low self-esteem doesn't win by being strong. He wins by making you weak." He stood, and held out his hand. Ed took Leonard's hand, and they walked back to Ed's together.

They went upstairs, and found the other Ed crying over the broken computer. Leonard pulled them together and joined their hands. "Good luck."

The two of them watched Leonard leave. Then Ed dried Ed's eyes. "Don't cry," he said. "We'll fix it."

"He made us two people, didn't he?" Ed asked, sniffling.

Ed nodded. "He figured out that we need each other."

"Stories are medicine," Ed said.

"That's why movies make us feel better." They held hands for a moment.

"Ew!" the Green Man said. "What is this, a bad porno? I swear, if you two start kissing..."

"Leave him alone," Ed said.

"Yeah," the other Ed said. "Leave him alone."

"Ed, Ed! You don't really want me to leave. Where would you be without me? Alone, that's where."

And then the two Eds jumped the Green Man and punched his little green lights out.

#

The next morning, Ed woke up alone.

He was a little sad about that for a moment, because he was surprisingly good company. But then he supposed that wherever he was, he had himself with him, and that was okay, then.

And sometimes, when he was having a vision, or falling asleep, he could almost feel himself in two bodies, holding his own hand.


End file.
